September 11, Present Day

Obviously, today is somewhat solemn in tone. Not so much as in years past, when the major news networks fell all over themselves to replay horrific shots of those planes and the towers until you just pretty much ignored it entirely to maintain your sanity. But still, if you really think about it, some sense of that day will likely flood you.

Anniversaries of all kinds have always played a part in my life. I am, perhaps overly so, constantly aware of time - what time is it now, what day is it, what happened a month ago today, a year ago, ad nauseum. This allows me the opportunity to revisit the past - something I likely also do too much - and calculate what has happened in my life since that time. The ways in which the world changes and yet seriously does not change whatsoever fascinates me.

Of course, seven years ago today, we all experienced some sense of horror. But what about in the years since? Last year, I worked in my basement on some task, all the while listening to MSNBC replay the actual coverage from 9/11/01. Don't ask why a girl prone to anxiety and panic would willingly subject herself to this for several hours because there is no semblance of sanity there. Often, it just seems I enjoy to put myself back there - whether it happens to be pleasant or unpleasant. (Good thing my health plan covers therapy, I'll say that much...)

In the year since, I don't know how much really changed. I will later today return to my basement to accomplish several tasks. Physically and emotionally, I've attempted to make positive strides, but probably look pretty much as I did then. I still live here in the mountains with my dogs and my husband, still work at the same job, still ponder the same sorts of dilemmas both big and small.

A year seems a long time when you look forward, not so much when you look back. I am sure there will be coverage of 9/11 today, though I should attempt to NOT watch or listen.
I am still the same person, though, so I can't say the chances of ignorance are good. I can say that I hope by this time next year, I am doing at least as well as I am today. I hope to be even better, to have accomplished greater things, to have more savory experiences on which to dwell.

That's about all we can really hope for anyhow.