Earlier this evening I ordered take-out from the local Chinese joint (pineapple chicken - yum) and as I waited for my food, I noticed a table of teenage guys out for a night on the town. They looked about thirteen or so - not old enough to have driven themselves, but mature enough for a few hours of parent-less "boy time." They laughed and joked and texted and made a mess and generally seemed to have a blast.
It certainly isn't in my nature to stare at teenagers. What got to me was my realization that I could be one those kids' mothers. And it wouldn't be a "Juno" teen pregnancy situation either - I'd have had the kid at around twenty years old. Hell, that wouldn't even be scandalous really - young, yes, but hardly an eyebrow-raiser.
How strange. I thought of how different my life would be had that been my road to take. It's such that I can't even fathom it being real. I can barely wrap my head around the concept of having a kid right now, let alone having spent the past decade as someone's mom.
Right now, I sit on my quiet couch with a cold beer, smile as my two dogs scavenge the floor for fallen crumbs, and watch my 90210 Season Three DVD's in anticipation for my Tuesday night ritual of tuning into the brand new version. (Dylan just chose Kelly over Brenda - get ready for the rumble!) What the heck would I do with a kid in the house right now? How could I catch up on my crappy television, write my blogs, update my iPod, and focus on meaningless Hollywood gossip?
Sometimes I think maybe I've missed out on some things, not being a parent. Certain folks reassure me those things are dirty diapers, temper tantrums, sleeplessness, and being broke. I'm not flippant enough to think it's all negative, nor am I naive to believe it's all unicorns and rainbows. It's just a difference in what I want right now versus others - I don't think there's a right or a wrong. But you have to like whichever side of that fence you sit, or it will be a recipe for unhappiness.
I'm cozy in my own contentment. And that's the most important thing to remember: we all must "choose our choice" in the end. This is mine. For now, at least.
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About Me
- Stephanie Stark Poling
- Steph's days are complete with little Franco/Mr. Buddy Pants, Pittsburgh Steelers football, Penguins hockey, all things WVU, cold beverages, new handbags, shoe-shopping, pups, and lots and lots of movies. And, of course, her glorious, nutty family.
2 comments:
Amen sister. I too sit childless and sometimes wonder at the fact that if I'd had a kid say at 20, I would now have an 18-year-old heading off to college!!! What!!!
I sit watching my "Pretty In Pink" DVD and am happy that there's not a kid around talking about how lame it is. (Do they still say lame?)
I rarely feel my age, and I wonder if that's because I don't have kids. Hmmmm. There's a thought.
(Sorry about the delete. Messed up.)
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