Dress Up and Get Going!

As a small child, I wanted to somehow transfrom into Laura Ingalls from "Little House on the Prairie." To accomplish this goal, I carried a wooden bucket as my lunch pail (which was actually the top of a snazzy ashtray - oh, to be a child of the early '80's with an avid imagination...) I had two brown braids and a bonnet, which I hung down my back when not on my head. I prayed for buck teeth while I drooped my own alligned teeth over my bottom lip. I ran down hills in a prairie-inspired dress. (This description surely will allow you to understand the difficulties I endured in school.)

Eventually, I aged out of that behavior and grew out of the clothes. In the years since, I have come to understand that Laura Ingalls was just one in an impressive line of characters I copied and modeled.

For years, I wore a red wig and belted along with the "Annie" soundtrack, orphan-ish in my mom's aprons on a windowseat. When I left for my freshman year of college, the last thing I did in my hometown was take a picture of Brenda Walsh to my hairdresser for 90210-like tresses. (You know, with those delicious bangs and wispy face-framing edges.) To this day, I study Carrie Bradshaw's fashion choices in envy and have develped a dangerous shoe collection.

Does all this prove my inability to simply be myself? Am I hiding some pain behind my misplaced identities? Is it time to call the psych ward? None of the above, I say. At one time, I would have believed I am alone in this sort of emulation. Now, I think all sorts of well-respected folks behave similarly at times.

Maybe I am the only one who will come out and admit that, yes, I do sometimes want to be a fictional someone in a more perfect world than mine. Television and movies were often my best friends. Just as we certainly find real-life people who strike our fancies and inspire us, we can do the same with characters.

It's harmless, really. We are all influenced by outside sources in one way or another. But at least it is only my ouside persona I copy from others. Deep down, I know who I am and am hardly swayed from my standpoints and opinions.

And it's always been that way. Whether donned in red wigs and bonnets, or maybe because of them, I have consistently been a strong personality. And I'm proud of that. From wherever that might have come, be it a book or a movie or my very own family, I can be sure it is here to stay.

For that I am proud. I still enjoy wardrobe suggestions from time to time. But as for important personality traits, like loyalty and standing up for what is right and being a good person, I'll take all the credit. The shoes on my feet or the bonnet on my head is trivial. It's how you behave while you walk through life.

And I walk with my own convictions.