Digging My Ditch

What a melancholy day. Leroi Moore, saxophonist extraordinare of the Dave Matthews Band and all-around cool cat, died yesterday. I feel a little numb, a little angry, and a lot sad. No more dark sunglasses on the side of the stage, no more ominous baritone at the start of "Bartender", no more crazy solos to drive the masses wild. Truly, a grace is gone.

Leroi's passing only reminds me that life is short ("But sweet for certain!") As a perfectionist procrastinator, I often waste hours fooling around online or engaged in ridiculous tasks like the rearrangement of the shoes in my closet. Often, I look back at my day and focus on places I could have done more, been better, accomplished something greater. Guilt will at times set in, and I remind myself that there is tomorrow.

But there isn't always. And that scares me. Leroi, only 46 years old, likely did not believe while he rode his ATV last month that he would die as a result of his injuries that day. At such an age, death would appear a blip in the future, unavoidable for sure, but far away on the horizon. Just as it does to me.

How many times can you hear "don't take it for granted?" Sure, we all know that and pledge to hold onto each moment. But, do we really? I pride myself as one who will soak up moments and hug joy at all turns - but I know deep down I don't act this way each and every day. Somedays I simply pout my way through in a self-contained pity-party for one. I often go to sleep while thinking of a new day's better and brighter promise.

So far, my tomorrows have been bountiful. Today, I am smacked in the face with a horrid jolt of reality and I know I need to grasp on to the lesson. Leroi Moore touched millions of fans; his contribution to the band mattered to the music community and to the world and to me, on a level of my soul I can't properly convey with words on this page. His legacy will continue on forever, preserved on our iPods and in our lovely memories of live shows. His talent will not pass on with him. It's here to stay.

I hope the same can be said of me. I will work hard to make it so. The scale will certainly be far less grand, but the passion will not.

Rest well Leroi Moore. Today, we all live on the corner of grey street.