Everyone Is Doing It...

Well, this is my attempt at blogging. Everyone has a blog - lots of people ask me if I have a blog - some folks have expressed surprised disdain that I do not have a blog, as I am a writer with an apparent reputation for focusing on myself...go figure!! So, I will try to write a blog and we’ll just see how it goes from here...

As usual, I am struggling with the constant uncertainty regarding my place in the world. Last night, after framing some photos and before settling in with my popcorn to watch the last NCAA hoops game of the year, I was tearing apart my "drawer of memories" in search of all my old DMB ticket stubs - yeah, this is kind of how I spend my free time. Scandalous. Anyhow, I only found about half of them (I’ll find them all, rest assured) but I did find, like, 15 years’ worth of reminders that I have never been certain of my future goals or plans. One scrap of paper after another showed me that this current feeling of aimlessness is my baseline - for better or worse, I just don’t have a clue what I want for myself, besides that I want to be happy and have scores of relaxing moments in the sun.

Following this head-scratching revelation, I decided to do something about it: I dragged out the copy of my law school graduation, fast-forwarded through the boring speeches, and watched myself as I walked across the stage to collect my prize for 3 years of pain and roughly $50,000 of borrowed money. I sure looked happy - I was smiling and laughing, I was waving at my family, I was cutting up with the old guys doling out the diplomas. However, even at that moment I knew that law was not my calling.

Trouble is, at that moment I did not know what my calling was - sort of like I don’t know yet. Oh well - I’ve made it this far wandering in my goalless state, so what is one more night? Besides, it was almost 9:00 and the basketball game was about to start.

While I may not have goals, per se, I do have priorities you know.