Wonder Why?

Sometimes I just wonder about things in this world. Ol' Scotty P. doesn't seem too interested in my wonderings, so I just have to get those things out in this blog post...

**When I watch "48 Hours" or "Dateline" or "American Justice" or any of the many, many true-crime stories over which I obsess, I wonder why they feel the need to say "in a hushed courtroom, the defendant took the stand..." or some such thing. What other kind of courtroom is there? Have you ever seen the inside of a courtroom whilst a trial takes place that is raucous or otherwise so engaged? Are there jugglers or clowns or vendors wandering the aisles hawking popcorn and COLD Bud Light? Unfortunately, no. (But, that would be all right by me if there were, seeing how much time I spend in courtrooms.)

By definition - and order - the courtroom is typically hushed. Or the bailiff takes offending parties out. (I've seen several drunks escorted from the courtroom before. At 9:00am. In Avery County. Enough said, if you know anything about Avery County...) And, on top of that, most people inside said courtroom are bored to tears, which tends to lead to silence. So, in the interest of efficiency, I think they can leave that part out of the description. Thank you.

**Why do people think a sticker on the back windshield of their vehicle is an appropriate tribute to a dead person? I can't tell you how many decal crosses and birth-and-death dates I've seen driving down the highway, right next to a Dale Earnhart sticker or "My Kid is an Honor Student" decoration. Seriously, if I died and someone put a decal on their car next to the Pittsburgh Steelers decal, I would be pissed. Because I am anti-tacky. (This also goes for those roadside crosses/memorials. I argue that is littering and should be illegal. I better not see any of this nonsense from the other side or I will haunt you. Consider yourself warned.)

**Why do Facebook users need to update their statuses with things like, "I am REEEAAAALLLLY MAD RIGHT NOW AND DON'T EVEN ASK ME ABOUT IT BECAUSE I WILL NEVER EVER TELL YOU EXCEPT TO SAY I AM REEEEAAAAAALLLLY MAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!!!" (Excessive exclamation points and capitilization intended to copy their over-dramatic emphasis.) These statuses are, naturally, followed by loads of comments like, "OMG - Are you okay?"

Of course the person is okay. They updated their Facebook status, didn't they? So they are clearly not incarcerated, in a coma, paralyzed under a semi-truck, or similarly incapacitated, which would impede their Facebook updates. They are, however, in my humble opinion, attention-seekers who need nothing less than a slew of "OMG - HOW CAN I HELP YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!" comments. What they might need is to be ignored so they might realize their pitiful, childish cries for attention are, um, retarded. There, I said it. This type of behavior is retarded and should result in a lifetime ban from Facebook, thereby eliminating at least one avenue from which these histrionic souls can derive attention.

Okay, for today, these are the most pressing issues I can think about. Until later, then, let the questions continue!