Championship Sunday, In the Books

Things I noticed from the NFL's Championship Sunday, even though my own beloved Steelers saw fit to lose to unworthy opponents midseason, thereby eliminating even their contention on this most exciting of football playoff days (not that I am bitter):

**If I was a Jets fan who bought one of those pre-marketed shirts or hats which read "AFC Champions Jets" or some such thing, I would be both disgusted at the J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS! and, more importantly, myself for being enough of a dumbass to buy a shirt or hat with a boast of a victory before my team even played the game of which they are claiming victor status. I'm not sure how many of these suckers are out there, but I guarantee you they don't come forward and show themselves. If I were one of these suspected folks, I would either shove that thing so far in my closet I forgot it existed or burn it. Seriously. That is going to be a hard thing to explain later on. (Like, anytime after about 6:30 this evening.) If you did this, you need to get rid of the evidence. Now.

**Do you think Eli Manning is secretly pissed off at Peyton when Peyton does so well and Eli has to watch from that cozy little box in the stadium? And, furthermore, do you think Peyton felt the same way several years ago when the roles were reversed and Eli had the amazing post season on the way to Super Bowl immortality? And, most importantly, do you think big brother Cooper is clamoring from somewhere in the background, "But, hey guys, I was just as good as you too! I'd be just as good as you now if it weren't for my gosh-darned back! Hey...guys?" I wonder about the dynamic between those Manning brothers more than is natural. Or healthy, really. (See: my recurring Eli/Peyton/Steph love triangle dream. Enough said, I think. I have problems.)

**Do you think Rex Ryan's head might actually, literally explode off his shoulders during one of his many tantrums? Even though his anger was quite proper in a few of those non-call situations, I think he needs to settle down before he strokes out. He's a big fellow. All that running around and fitting can't be good for his heart.

**Can Mark Sanchez eat a hot dog in peace now? For crying out loud, that kid was freaking good today. I like the "Sanchize" tag with which he's been saddled against his will. And speaking of him, wouldn't it have been a trip if the Jets had actually made it to the Super Bowl with their rookie quarterback, only to play against the team that beat the team with the Jets' old (emphasis on old) quarterback, who they hired last year specifically to give them their best shot at a Super Bowl, after which they failed to even make last year's playoffs? Isn't it still awesome that the Jets made it this far with this talented rookie QB, given that above outlined situation?

**Now that Jim Caldwell is coaching the Colts in the Super Bowl, do you think I might remember his name? This guy has to be the most low-key coaching figure ever because I forget his name about half the time. (Or it's just early onset alzheimer's.)

**Isn't it ironic that two of the biggest stars of the day were named Pierre and each played for the winning team? I mean, Pierre is hardly a common name, in the NFL or anywhere outside France. Or Montreal. I enjoy little trivial tidbits like that. Because I am an uber-dork.

**Which interception do you think bothers Brett Favre more: the one he threw in overtime as a Green Bay Packer against the eventual winner New York Giants, or the one he threw today to send the game into overtime against the eventual winner New Orleans Saints? I mean, that first example was, like, twelve retirements ago (i.e. 2008) and this one was only the last play of the season in which he was to redeem himself and make his "Favre Watch" melodrama look like good strategy instead of ridiculous adolescent indecision. I don't know, but he'll have some time to think it over...good golly, could he really be done for good? Does it matter right now, given that we do know he won't play another game this season? Shouldn't we just be thankful for small blessings?

**Do you think that poor little Saints kicker thought about the parade of missed field goals during this playoff season before he strolled onfield to make or break the hopes of an entire city of crazed, drunk hooligans? How drunk do you think he is on Bourbon Street right this very instant? How jealous am I of those drunks on Bourbon Street right now? (Don't answer that. I can tell you: plenty.)

Anyway, good for the Big Easy and good for old Peyton, too. This goes out to J.W., the Steelers fan from Indianapolis my sister and I hung out with at the Pittsburgh Hilton bar after the Steelers beat the Ravens a month ago. If he thought he had to hear about how "Fu%$ing Great" Peyton Manning was before today, I'm pretty sure he's in for it the next two weeks.

Good luck, buddy. You are definitely going to need. it. Stay strong. And, just for good measure, it's never too early to start: Go Steelers!!