Dancing Stars of Nonsense

I have a love/hate relationship with several things and though I try to keep it under control, I just can't sometimes. Such is the case with "Dancing With the Stars."

After last time, I swore off the whole thing. Brooke Burke and her do-nothingness drove me to the brink of insanity, and the judges are ridiculous. (Except Bruno, who is kind of awesome.) I really and truly meant the words, "I'm not watching anymore. That is it."

And then I saw the new lineup of stars and, well, damn it. I had to tune in. Shawn Johnson, for crying out loud. The only other way they could hook me bigger would be a Pittsburgh Steeler. Gymnastics is my other true weakness and so, here I am again, beholden to that (has to be) rigged Monday night fiasco.

I don't watch the whole thing live, as those days are far behind me. There are highly specified rules. I DVR the episode Monday night and only watch after it is completely over or the next day. I only watch the dances, except for my favorites for whom I will sit through the practice highlights. (This is currently Shawn, Steve-O, and my little pocket cowboy, Ty Murray.) I don't watch the judges' comments if I hear any negativity. And, most importantly, I can not hear one peep from Samantha Harris, lest my entire head explodes right here in my living room.

After all these built-in safeguards, I still find myself riled up frequently. There is no Tuesday results show for me, save the last five minutes when I see who is going home. And even so, I can't keep myself from angry outbursts - and it's only like the second elimination. Ugh.

Why must I get so deeply involved in this ridiculous so-called competition? Because I like to feel the passion that comes with being involved. The win is made so much better when you've gone the distance. Likewise, the loss is that much more bitter, but with the highs come the lows.

I wish I could feel a different way about it, but I can't. We'll see how it all plays out, but so far it is not looking so great. When Teletubby clone Steve "The Woz" Wozniak is still bumbling around and Denise Richards is gone already, you know you might be in for another long, long season. (Not that she was good, but she could at least walk straight. I suspect the Cloris Leachman phenomonen...)

I'll try to remain somewhat sane throughout, though I won't make any promises. Obviously, after last season's vow never to return to this forsaken show, we all know how those promises work out anyway.